Mini: Julius Caesar's Flippant Side Quest

Perhaps the most bizarre story of one of history's most prominent figures

Rome’s Pirate Problem

Julius Caesar is remembered today in a plethora of different ways. Some say, tyrant, a portion claim hero, a few cry visionary, the others insist lunatic. I do not care which of these views you hold, if any. But, after this article, I hope that no matter your opinion, you can agree that Julius Caesar was a legend. 

Julius Caesar lived an illustrious life and the main reason why I haven’t written a full article on him is because it would be far too long. But, this particular story is just way too cool to pass up, and frankly, I’m surprised it’s not talked about more. 

All throughout Rome’s history they struggled with varying levels of piracy in the Mediterranean, and during Julius Caesar’s era, the issue was particularly rampant. So rampant that, when Caesar was 25 and on his way to Rhodes to study oratory (the art of speaking), his ship was intercepted by pirates and he was taken captive.

Pirate’s Caesar Problem

The pirates offered Caesar up for a ransom of 20 talents of gold. Caesar was outraged and told the pirates that if they had any idea who he was they would demand at least 50 talents. (Note that this is the only recorded time in history that a captive has negotiated a higher ransom.) The pirates were understandably bewildered by Caesar’s demand but they acquiesced to his request and set the ransom to 50 talents.

For the next few weeks, Caesar was their hostage, but he refused to act like one. He would instruct the pirates about how to do their jobs, command them to be quiet when he was trying to sleep, would only respond if they addressed him as their superior, and my personal favorite is: that he would read the pirates his poems that he wrote and then berate them for being illiterate bums if they didn’t admire his work. He even told them about how he would crucify all of them once he was ransomed. The pirates certainly got a good laugh with their impressionable hostage.

Caesar bossing around his pirate captors

Alas, 38 days later Caesar’s ransom came. The pirates were overjoyed at their lucrative payday but a little saddened to see their amusing “captain” leave. Caesar had no such feelings. In fact, instead of continuing on to Rhodes, he went to the nearest Roman naval base and (despite having no authority) rallied the men to go back and neutralize the pirate menace. The pirates certainly were shocked to see Caesar return at the head of the Roman navy and arrest them. Being the honorable person that he is, Caesar kept true to his promise, and all the pirates were promptly crucified.

“ivi vidi reliqui ivi redii vici” - I came, I saw, I left, I came back, I conquered - Caesar probably.